Would You Still?

Believe in me in spite of not despite of this contrite reality. Alleviation, like the sun lifts a morning fog. The earth revealed, what it is, as it is, nothing more is concealed. Believe, oh that I am, not what I'm not, but in what I am. For past lasting catastrophes of my soul a piece of sand becomes a pearl. Not by Your mystery but by my pain. Vanity shreds my heart, then I'm left to gather it up. Believe in me? Even when I deny that what is true. Ha, I trust only in my hate, no friend or foe can relate, an obstinate life I'm done. Be done with me! Fright? Yes fright in me, scorn me abhor everything You see in me. Meaningless all that is about You is meaningless. I can take it. In my heart I can take it, and I'll hurt you too. Be true then, would you still say I'm worthy, lovable and forgiven if I say fuck You and all of heaven. I'd rather hell. Judas is my name! I play a devils advocate game with my own soul. Would You still?